Rolling Heavy: Vans in Skateboarding (not the shoes)

The van, similar to the skateboarder, has always driven a fine line between cool and scummy. There is something indescribably cool about a vehicle that will fit eight friends with the option to sleep in the back. However, most chicks still don't want to be seen within a few hundred feet of them. This could be the reason why skaters and vans share such a deep-seeded bond of gnarly scumitude.

Since the days when skateboarding was born from Californians who sidewalk-surfed when the waves were flat, vans were never far behind. During the 1930's and 40's, when modern surfing gained national popularity, surfers chose the Woodie wagon as their vehicle of choice. Woodies were great because they were cheap, had plenty of room to throw surfboards in the back, and the name "Woodie" was another name for a boner.

Eventually, the popularity of the Woodie went limp in the mid-60's. The wooden sides of the wagons began to rot, the canvas roof leaked water, and the frames rusted like an old Budweiser can. Around this same time, American manufacturers started producing the great "rock n' roll" style vans, which we now associate with heavy metal dudes, creeps living "down by the river," and Uncle Rico. The Dodge A100, Chevy G-Series, and Ford Econoline were all big vans that had more room than the VW Bus, which started to gain cult-status just a few years earlier.

Naturally, surfers gravitated towards the new vans, which were perfect for surf trips. Advantages were obvious: you didn't need a tent to sleep on the beach, there was room for an unlimited amounts of surfboards on top, and you still had space to "plow it out" if some beach babes rolled on to your camp. The van was - and still is - infinitely better than any wagon.

As we know from major motion pictures, the early 1970s was a great time for skating. Dogtown, Z-Boys, urethane wheels, Alan Gelfand, blah, blah, blah - you already know that story. What is important to realize, though, is that this was a sweet time for vanning, too. Custom van magazines were sold in gas stations, Danny DeVito starred in 1977's "The Van," and countless high school girls started making bad decisions to scuzzy guys listening to Zeppelin in the back of their vans. Mix this with skaters starting to hit pool coping and you have a nice little party going.

Since the 70s, at least one guy in a large circle of friends was destined to own a van. Of all your friends' vehicles, the van is the hardest to park, the worst on gas, and hardest to work on if it breaks down. However, the perks far outweigh the cons for bringing a van anywhere. For instance, unless you're rolling super-deep to a spot, there is never the issue of elbow touching with your buddy. Also, if you're traveling any distance more than two miles, it's totally acceptable to ask everyone in the car to pitch in for gas. Additionally, if you don't feel like skating, you can always just lay down in the back and watch the session from the comfort of a plush captain's chair. Insert fat guy's voice, "You got this!" as he sips a beer.

If the Van is a Rockin'...Don't Bother Knockin'. Come On In!

"I've wanted one of these since I was a little kid," says Braydon Szafranski in an old Epicly Latr'd epsiode. "You can be making out with a chick in the back and then she's like, 'Wait, did this just turn into a bed?'"

It's true, vans are creepy. They make most chicks uncomfortable because they realize they are essentially just feet away from a bedroom on wheels, complete with piss jugs and sweaty t-shirts. But, when the moons align, there are good opportunities to pull some trim if you're a van man. Remember, ramp tramps are drawn to backwards 5-panel hats and quarter pipe fly-outs, but regular tramps will go for a van session with the guy in the bar parking lot four times out of 10 (trust me, these are good odds).

There are at least a dozen stories about now-pro skateboarders who popped their cherries in the back of the tour van.

Types of Vans

Just like skateboards, there are cool ones and lame ones. For instance, longboards are lame and so are mini vans - got it? So, when you go van shopping, you need to keep in mind what you're going to be using it for and where you plan on driving it. If you plan on driving a van cross-country from Florida to California, a beat to crap VW Bus isn't going to cut it.

• Classic Heavy Rollers (Old Fords, Chevys, and Dodge Vans): Look awesome, but they're terrible on gas. Plus, all of them are 30 years old by now.
• VW Bus: The ultimate stoner mobile. Unreliable, slow, and goofy. If getting the thumbs up from Grateful Dead dudes and hanging out with girls who make crystal necklaces is your thing, buy one ASAP.
• Conversion Vans: These are the modern day ‘Heavy Rollers' that your grandfather drove you to a soccer game in. These are pre-modified gems with cheesy side skirts and crappy graphics on the side. They look lame from the outside.
• Mini Vans: Longboards.
• Eurovans: If you can afford it, Eurovans are a sweet option. They fit a ton of people and cops never look twice at ‘em. Unfortunately, if they break down out-of-state you may as well leave it. You'll never afford the mechanic's bill.
• Full-Size Vans: AKA the "Skate Tanks." Almost every team has a designated Ford E-350 for skate trips. Baker gets two of them for skate trips (sober van and not-sober van). These are essential if you're cruising with eight-plus people.
• Sprinter Vans: These are the new kids on the block. They come in tons of different sizes and engine options and are usually pretty good on gas. They won't win you any cool points with the babes, but you could totally live out of one stealth mode.

This article was the first in a series on TheBoardr.com. Check back later for more stuff about vans, skateboarding, and skateboarders in vans.

Porpe's Van Photos from the Fun Fun Fun Fest