A Letter to Dill and AVE by Nate Sherwood

Dear AVE and Dill. I own a small shop here in the middle of the land of the Tundra known as Cedar Rapids, Iowa. I am about one hour and 30 minutes from the closest shop that carry's Fucking Awesome aka Subsect. Loads of humans come in and ask me why I have no Fucking Awesome in stock. I have tried religiously to get a hold of you guys to carry your shit. However I might feel due to pressure flips or being to hyper at 7 Street School bank to ledge in San Pedro when Ave was trying to handle some wrench time, or maybe that time I was at Max fish DRUNK and spoke to Jason with a mouth full of bread and by accident spit crumbs on him, might have black listed me from getting Fucking Awesome. I feel now I must evoke a statement on why we should qualify for this stress test to get Fucking Awesome in to our small, humble shop.

#1

I went to the hardware store to buy a filter for my furnace the other day and bought like 40 bucks of tools for the community work bench in our shop. As I drove back to the shop I remembered that I forgot the filter. Damn, I am Fucking Awesome.

#2

My father has turrets, my mother mos def has dyslexia, and for some dumb reason these two thought it would be a good idea to breed, thus making by fucked up ass that has both those problems plus the mercury filled vaccines of the late 70's and that added ADHD to the mix. Spice that up with a fucking out break of herpes on me every time I get a cold due to my dumb ass not dropping in with a helmet from HI to the UK and my life is Fucking Awesome. If I was a kid again thinking about this I would never drop in switch or regular padless and not think those health classes an shit were a sham to scare us from busting some stailfish grabs and mad backside D, reverts is real. So, by this I elect myself to be Fucking Awesome cause I thought STDs were some made up shit by the media till now.

#3

About 11 years ago, I was living in San Diego and this guy Robert kept telling me that he was pitching a show with me and his chubby friend to MTV. I thought he was full of crap because he said this for like a year. I got into a goonies style fight and took off to London right before they shot the pilot. I lost any job I ever could have with that dude, damn I am Fucking Awesome.

#4

About two months before the first iPhone came out, I bought my first lap top. It was a Macbook. My grand mother passed away and I decided to drop the cash I inherited into some Apple stock. Seemed like a good idea, shit I loved my lap top. Anyway, four days after Steve Jobs' keynote on the first iPhone, I sold my stock cause I knew I could make a quick 500$ bucks. My broker was even like, "Hold onto it." I was like, nope that thing will come out and my shit will crash like like Darby as soon as it comes out. I'm sure it is made like shit. Sell it now, I said to him. So he sold it. I came out $500 up and spent it all on dumb shit. If I held onto that stock now I would be 20 grand richer. Wow, I am Fucking Awesome.

#5

I moved from rain filled endore e-walk looking forrest of Portland to the sun baked skin cancer streets of San Diego, but then realized I needed to live some place where I could be stuck inside for 3 months in the snow with forced air blasting me in the fucking face cause none of those places were shity enough, so I moved to fucking Iowa to catch up on my drinking habits and to work on my claustrophobia. Fuck, I am Fucking Awesome.

#6

Our shop has been open three years. In that small time frame I have had to pull a sword on a crack head who was tossing shit off my shelfs, had two break ins, one where they came though my wall like the kool aid. One where they smashed down the front door. The first group was two team riders who needed cash for their molly raver life style. I thought raves were dead after big deal pants were out, but not in Iowa, I guess. The other group was two junkies who needed a fix. Anyway, all of them got jailed and that makes us Fucking Awesome.

#7

According to my taxes, I have givent out over 10 grand in product. Every time some kid is short on a bill or has never heard of sales tax, or needs a bearing or pivot cup etc. as well as all the contests we have held and hosted raffles, charities, from everything to helping a local filmer who got jacked get a new rig, to a sick pug who needed meds to countless contests from manny pads to park to hi ollie etc, for that WE ARE FUCKING AWESOME.

#8

I somehow am not out of business even though I cannot afford Nike or adidas. Even though every other shop told me I needed those two accounts to stay open, and by this yep, you guessed it, we are Fucking Aawesome .

So what ya guys say ?